The Beginning Is This Moment

image: Joe Longo Photography 

2018 has arrived. 

Like most of you, I tend to reflect on the past year and imagine how I'd like this year to be. Reflection is good. Planning is good. However, both distract you from being present. That approach to living may seem simple to some and impractical to others. The truth is, the current moment you find yourself in, is the only one you can affect. 

Instead of giving energy to what has happened or to what could be, give all of your attention, love, gratitude, skills and talents to the present. Ground yourself in the now. Recognize the potential available right here, right now. 

Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Only today. 

Are You Curious?

I just had a moment of awareness...

It seems like the response to "all politicians are liars" is to dumb down the political process. So, facts and science and proof and intellectual discourse in a "political" context are associated with lies. Actually, they are dismissed as lies (and those who suggest such concepts are also dismissed as liars).

Disregarding critical thought (or mocking it) only produces regression. We then resort to primitive ways of acting.

I know there are people from all walks of life with different backgrounds, ethnicities, genders, educational and career experiences, political and religious affiliations, creative pursuits, dreams and aspirations who know A LOT more than I do. I welcome them into my life. I don't dismiss them or mock them because they are different or know more than I do.

Curiosity to learn about life from others to help uplift humanity is a journey. Of course, it may be challenging but it can be so rewarding. Because you get to know someone and learn something.

Instead of politics, think humanity. Instead of politicians, think people. Instead of differences, think opportunities to learn.

Much love. 

Your Truth Matters

The last several months have been…a whirlwind. That seems to be the word I most often come back to. 

In that whirlwind, life has been crazy active, super joyous, very gratifying, and intensely inspirational. However, it has also been quite challenging, overwhelming, frustrating, sad, and downright painful. 

And through that whirlwind, here I am. 

My marriage ended. I moved (albeit next-door to my previous home). Another year of teaching ended. My career path shifted - like BIG! Relationships changed. My family’s resilience was tested. I cried a lot. I questioned my purpose. I questioned positivity and optimism. I was gifted with grace from others. I was blessed to realize I had a great deal to be grateful for. 

A few weeks ago, I watched a video about motivation and hesitation. After watching it, I believe my lesson from the whirlwind was revealed. And that lesson is, if my truth matters to me, I need to live it. 

I am not suggesting the mistakes I’ve made, the wrongs I’ve done, the people I’ve disappointed were all the result of me not living my truth. I own that I knowingly made bad decisions in my life - probably will make a few more. But I also believe I gave myself time, space, and attention to confront, understand, learn, and grow from them. That will be a forever kind of deal. 

Now back to living my truth. I realized I am turning a page, beginning a new chapter in my life. With that, I made a conscious agreement with myself to make healthier decisions in all areas of my life. And I cannot do this without first being truthful with myself and then with others. 

Simply put, live truthfully, no matter what. 

It’s the “no matter what” part that makes it so tricky. I recognized how I was allowing fear of the unknown to deny myself of my worthiness in the now. It just clicked. I can no longer allow perceived reactions of others or hypothetical outcomes to deter me of living my truth in the present moment.  

I also realized living your truth does not have to be confrontational. You can express it in a thoughtful manner. Think about it lovingly. Speak it politely. Live it compassionately. 

In the video, Mel Robbins discusses how we are wired to protect ourselves. In other words, the neuroscience of fear. Therefore, once your brain detects your uneasiness about anything, it does all it can to protect you. In that moment, many of us decide not to do something. You know, the big put off. The, “I’ll wait till I'm really ready.” Or my favorite, “Timing is everything. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen.” 

As of late, I have been denying the hesitation and instead, consciously reminding myself of my truth and why it matters to me. It has been nerve-racking at times, but it has also felt so freeing. And yes, sometimes hesitation still wins. 

The short of it, my relationship with my ex-wife is blossoming into something beautiful, my career is moving in a very exciting direction, my interactions with others have improved, but most important, I am focused on accepting my truth….so I can live my truth. 

Stay tuned…

Peaceful Transitions

Awareness is like learning. It's a movement. From moments of focus to experiences of emotional fluctuation, there is a flow. We may not always agree with the timing of it all, but life is life. 

Today, I noticed how I can be an obstacle in my flow. I attach instead of accept. I hold instead of let go. And then I become impatient with everything. But today something happened. Something noticeable. I felt peaceful.

We all have a story unfolding. This story has contained so many twists and turns, beautiful joys and devastating pains, unknowns and lessons learned. But our stories share a common experience - change. 

Today, my changes felt like peaceful transitions. And I was grateful.

Where Do You Sit?

“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.” ~ Ram Das

We tend to experience life through our desires or expectations or emotions. This leads us to feeling anxious or frustrated or super elated. The thing is, life is life. Life, as complex as it may seem, simply happens. What we decide to label the experience as a result of our preconceptions or judgments is outside of what is. 

When we experience joy, we cling to it. When we experience hard times, we dwell on them. And yet, the moments happen(ed), whereas life happens. And life is only ever unfolding in the present. Your now is your life. 

Are you sitting in the past? Perhaps you pulled up a chair in the future. Maybe, just maybe, it's time have a seat, right here, right now, in the present moment. 

See Life

When you open your eyes, are you grateful? Do you give thanks for the opportunity to see what you see? Do you make it a point to see everything for what it is and everyone for who they are? 

We can be so easily distracted by our "busy" lives. We can become numb to the familiarity of our surroundings. We can give the past our attention and ignore the present. We can blind ourselves with expectations and miss the moment. 

But when you choose to see. When you choose to be grateful for what you see. Life comes alive. 

Do You Know Your Why?

At some point, you need to be honest with yourself. Like really get to the root of what drives you to think and act as you do. No game here. Just you and your truth. 

Are your judgments making you angry? Is your compassion filling you with love? Is fear closing you off from others? Is empathy opening yourself up to all of humanity? 

Hate can be a language. Love can be a language.

What are you thinking, feeling, speaking? Why? Be honest.....with yourself.

A Cup Of Self Awareness

Everybody is being so ignorant. Everybody is yelling at each other. Everybody is missing the point.

Really? Everybody? 

Your "everybody" may simply be your narrow access point to humanity. A few co-workers or a neighbor or two or a couple of your friends and family or, of course, those people popping up on your social media. But really? Everybody?

You do realize that you are included in someone else's "everybody."  

So, try seeing yourself as everybody. Do you hate you? Do you resent you? Are you ignorant to you? Are you yelling at yourself? Are you missing the point? How you think of and treat others is a reflection of your relationship with yourself. What you "expect" or "desire" from "everybody" cannot be realized unless you are truly being all of it. 

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I offer this cup of coffee to help start an honest conversation with yourself and with others.