Fear keeps you small. Comfort keeps you stagnant. Doubt keeps you stuck. Love lifts you up. Love moves you. Love nurtures. Love transcends.
Fear Is Not A Validation
People hear what you say. People see what you do. But people do not experience your life experiences as you do.
Furthermore, we often dial down or even hide our truth. The deep, core experience dancing in our souls and warming our hearts. For as real as it feels to us, we still try to make sense of it. We question it and doubt it. There are so many reasons why we do this and it all points back to fear.
How much do you reveal in your moment to moment?
We tell people what we think they will accept. We show people what we think they will accept. We surrender to fear. We tell ourselves we have difficult choices to make, but what that really mean is we have tradeoffs to make. The tradeoff is our authenticity for someone else's acceptance. Why? Because we allow fear to be a validation for how we choose to live.
Fear is NOT a validation.
words on image: Michael Barata / image: Jez Timms
Your Inner Journey
We ask for advice. We get judged. We look for signs. We take wrong turns. We heed others’ opinions. We ignore our own intuition.
Of course there are people in your life who can help you. That’s a beautiful thing. But that doesn’t mean you ignore what YOU can do for you. We are taught as children to heed, to obey, to get in line, to follow, to respect others. All of this leads to a dissolution of self. Is it any wonder why so many people don’t know much about themselves, even worse, scoff at the notion of going within to discover more about themselves AND life?
Your willingness and wonder about who you are can reveal your gifts, your talents, your passion, and yes, your strength. The journey within is lifelong. Along the way, we hit detours, obstacles, and even deadends. What do those things look like? Well, they could be family and friends, authority figures, failures, and traumatic experiences. However, as long as you have breath, the inner journey can continue.
If you’re looking for answers, for love, for direction, start within. What you discover inside of you will be YOUR truth rather than their suggestions.
words on image: Michael Barata / image: unknown
Your Truth Matters
The last several months have been…a whirlwind. That seems to be the word I most often come back to.
In that whirlwind, life has been crazy active, super joyous, very gratifying, and intensely inspirational. However, it has also been quite challenging, overwhelming, frustrating, sad, and downright painful.
And through that whirlwind, here I am.
My marriage ended. I moved (albeit next-door to my previous home). Another year of teaching ended. My career path shifted - like BIG! Relationships changed. My family’s resilience was tested. I cried a lot. I questioned my purpose. I questioned positivity and optimism. I was gifted with grace from others. I was blessed to realize I had a great deal to be grateful for.
A few weeks ago, I watched a video about motivation and hesitation. After watching it, I believe my lesson from the whirlwind was revealed. And that lesson is, if my truth matters to me, I need to live it.
I am not suggesting the mistakes I’ve made, the wrongs I’ve done, the people I’ve disappointed were all the result of me not living my truth. I own that I knowingly made bad decisions in my life - probably will make a few more. But I also believe I gave myself time, space, and attention to confront, understand, learn, and grow from them. That will be a forever kind of deal.
Now back to living my truth. I realized I am turning a page, beginning a new chapter in my life. With that, I made a conscious agreement with myself to make healthier decisions in all areas of my life. And I cannot do this without first being truthful with myself and then with others.
Simply put, live truthfully, no matter what.
It’s the “no matter what” part that makes it so tricky. I recognized how I was allowing fear of the unknown to deny myself of my worthiness in the now. It just clicked. I can no longer allow perceived reactions of others or hypothetical outcomes to deter me of living my truth in the present moment.
I also realized living your truth does not have to be confrontational. You can express it in a thoughtful manner. Think about it lovingly. Speak it politely. Live it compassionately.
In the video, Mel Robbins discusses how we are wired to protect ourselves. In other words, the neuroscience of fear. Therefore, once your brain detects your uneasiness about anything, it does all it can to protect you. In that moment, many of us decide not to do something. You know, the big put off. The, “I’ll wait till I'm really ready.” Or my favorite, “Timing is everything. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen.”
As of late, I have been denying the hesitation and instead, consciously reminding myself of my truth and why it matters to me. It has been nerve-racking at times, but it has also felt so freeing. And yes, sometimes hesitation still wins.
The short of it, my relationship with my ex-wife is blossoming into something beautiful, my career is moving in a very exciting direction, my interactions with others have improved, but most important, I am focused on accepting my truth….so I can live my truth.
Stay tuned…